The Settlement

This was forwarded to me...
Whether or not the author is real - the content is what rings true to me.
I don't apologize for these thoughts - while some of them are filled with sarcasm.
It made me smile and maybe it will make you smile too.

American liberals, leftists, social progressives,
socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the
results of this latest election process has made me realize
that I want a divorce... I know we tolerated each other for
many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly,
this relationship has run its course.

Our two ideological
sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on
what is right so let's just end it on friendly
terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable
differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by
landmass each taking a portion. That will be the
difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly
agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy!
Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets
since both sides have such distinct and disparate
tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep
them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our
firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

You can keep Oprah,
Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You
are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel
vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations,
pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can
have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal
aliens. We'll keep the hot
Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and
Hollywood ..

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll
retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten
us.. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our
allies or our way of life are
under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome
to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can
also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the
bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury
cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can
find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any
practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare
is a luxury and not a
right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and
the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to
substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing,
Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give
trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends
you, we'll keep our history, our name and our
flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to
other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and
if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of
friendly parting, I'll bet you Answer which one of us
will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American